The Day After Thanksgiving: Everybody is shitting

Imagine the size of the average turd this morning, as it floated its way through the sewer systems of America. It must have been monsterous, afterall, it is the day after thanksgiving - and what goes in must come out. Today, America will shit more than any other day of the year. The magnitude of the average November 26 turd will blow all other turds out of the water, so to speak. Although, perhaps it can be said that this day after Thanksgiving turd is challanged by the day after Christmas turd, but I'll put my money on the day after thanksgiving turd. Afterall, this is a holiday that celebrates not togertherness with one's family, but stuffing one's pudgy little face till they pass out from excessive doses of triptofen running through their bloodstream. So cherish that abrasive grind of yesternight's meal as it struggles through your puckered bowels folks, this is an experience reserved for one day of the year.

And just imagine, it's about 3:17 pm, so i'm sure there are alot of people reading this who have already fullfilled their obligations towards letting one sink, but there are also people out there that ate 10x more than you, and likewise shat a brick 10x bigger than yours. That's really big. Those are the kind of bricks that don't even need to be flushed. You look between your thighs and your turd isn't even there, because it "flushed" itself down by means of it's very own weight and inertia. That big daddy fatty is going, going, gone. But excuse me for now, i feel a slight pressure building up, and i think its time for round two.