Its official boys and girls....

I used to rock. I used to rock alot. But I think my brain is a bit tired of all the shitty rock I used to impose on it, because its official: I no longer rock. I would say I no longer "roll" as well, but nobody really rolled anyways. I don't even know where the term "roll" came from, because everybody rocks out, nobody rolls out. Unless you're a gangster and the phrase "roll out" is part of your idiosyncratic jargon, and in such a case it is understood that the thug life and the rock life are mutually exclusive. So its official, i no longer rock.

But what is rock, really? Because if you're talking about the Beatles, then you better believe my panties belong to them. And if you're talking about Led Zeppelin, then praise be to your momma cuz I get down like Charlie Brown. So I think its safe to say I still "rock" when it comes to the good shit. It's this stuff I hear today that just doesn't rock out enough. And no, I promise you this will not be a rant sessions where I criticize the music industry for preferring the "entertainer" over the "artist". Because sometimes, I don't want to think, I just wanna be entertained, and rock.

Because rock music moves me. It makes me take my fists and connect them to my head in a viscious manner. As I'm repeatedly socking myself in the head, it also gives me the proclivity to let my mouth hang open, so flecks of spit fly everywhere. And iff this weren't enough, rock also makes me want to violently flail my body around, so that my constant spastic convulsions make it that much harder for my fists to find their mark on my face, which is now covered with bruises and saliva. Cuz rock music fucks with my neurons like that. But the only emotions I feel when i listen to modern day rock music is pity and sympathy. Pity on the band because they suck so much, and sympathy for all the dead rock stars rolling over in their graves in light of the current state of rock.

Because rock just doesn't fuck with my neurons anymore. My neurons usually just sit there with their little dendrites crossed, tapping their synaptic glands as they patiently wait for some rockin musical arrangement to come and get their chemical contents of sodium and potassium to dance the fuck out. And that never happens anymore, because my neurons are washed up and jaded critics. They're sitting there smokin cigarettes and sipping coffee, discussing whether or not grunge was the death of rock n roll, or the last stronghold of rock n roll. Personally I wasn't too big into grunge, so i prefer to refrain from such erudite conversations. I just like to listen. And now, I'm gonna fuck with my neurons by singing some Celine Dion. Eeeevery night in my dreams, i see you, i feeeel yooou. That is how I know you go ooon....