Originality 0, Predictable Bullshit 1

Okay fuck me, you got me. I'm a hipocrit. Here I am, about to complain about unoriginality, but I'm really just being a victim to my own master plan by being unoriginal in bitching about everybody else's blogs and how unoriginal they are. Because lets face it, everybody disses everybody else's blogs... unless your blog is so shitty that you actually hold the miserable teenage angst of "Whispers of a desperate soul" - or all those other cliche wastes of netspace, in high reverance. So I'm unoriginal, you can bite my nipples if you don't like it. I'm not gonna go all out of my way to be all fresh and original. I'm not gonna brush my teeth with aquafresh just because everybody else uses crest. I'm not gonna wipe my ass with tree bark cuz everybody else uses soft TP. I hate those bastards that go all out of their way to be fresh and original. Like artsy fartsy tea-baggin pansy motherfuckers who think they're too "free spirited" to do conventional shit like take showers and get haircuts. Those beret wearing sissy men who claim to not only think out of the box, but proclaim "there is no box". Ooooh, way to switch it up DJ fresh.

It's kinda funny though, thinking about the shit that must go through these people's heads as they sit there with such assurance that their failed attempts encapsulate life were utterly brilliant and insightful; but really they were just the last of the herd to get a fuckin clue. They're probably sitting there thinkin shit like "Wraa look at me, I'm the all-encompasing dictator of objective truths, watch me sum up the meaning of life in this little blog passage entitled "The meaning of life" so you the reader can go home and tell your parents and friends about your cathartic experience that had you crying in the bathroom for two hours straight - because yes, i'm that fuckin smart. Every word out of mouth is profound, every thought i think has never been thought before. Shit hold on, where's my thesaurus? There's not enough syllables in this one."

And I hate how everybody tries to show off their writing skills, as if they're destined to be the next Scott Fitzgerald or some shit. Only alcoholics and opium addicts can pull off such brilliance. So unless your taking a break between writing to fire up that pipe, or unless you're shootin back shots of cheap of Staters Brother's rum as you blog, you're really heading nowhere in life as far as writing goes. Yeah it's a hard thing to accept. Being a good writer but just not being good enough. But I moved on, so can you. You're not a good writer, everybody else just sucks. So please, stop with the shitty fiction narratives and bad teenage poetry. I can assure you, there will be no letters in the mail from publishers asking you to cut a deal with them. Just stop sucking... It can't be THAT hard.