If the egg came before the chicken, that was some awfully ambitious yolk

What's the deal with all this blogpraying i've been seeing around? People are actually praying through their blogs. "Please god, help me find the strength to stop being such a pussy, etc etc." This is hilarious. I guess they realized that praying by themselves is a tad bit ineffective and took to experimenting with different mediums. But I'm sure God just looves surfing blogs. Yep, I'm so sure Big G-dizzle in the skizzle is staring down on these geniuses right now, dishing out the remedy to their blogged out cries for help like candy - like he always does... Yes I'm being sarcastic. It's funny though, my priest once said that God answers all prayers, sometimes the answer is just NO. Hahaha, i thought that was a clever little way to have their cake and eat it too. God's sittin up there all like "Okay kid, i'll bargain with ya. No, sorry, your daddy isn't recovering from the heart attack, but here's that A you asked for on your exam!"

Yeah yeah i know, I bitch about religion too much. But i've been obsessed with religion ever since i was little. I think the most fascinating ability we have is our ability to slurp up and believe our own bullshit. And conservative religious belief epitamizes such slurping. Shit they'll believe any nittwitted rationalization they create, as long as it sounds good enough to serve as "logical" support for some absurd, unfounded belief that all of reality objects to. I call this Say Anything Syndrome, or SAS. When reality objects to your fantasies - say anything. It doesn't have to be a good lie, it just has to makes sense... somefuckinghow.

So back to praying to God for help. Stop being such a pussy. Why don't you find strength in yourself to change, instead of bitching to God all the time about how much of a pussy you are? "Hey God, it's me pussy, again. Yeah I know, I just can't seem to stop being such a pussy! It's like, I try to grow some balls and help myself, but then i'm like, oh no wait, i can't i'm a pussy!" Look, I've gone through plenty of shit in my life, and I took it with a smile. Okay, maybe i wasn't smiling, but i sure wasn't sitting there thinking, "Oh god, why must your benevolent chunks of shit rain down upon my dreary little world? Was it because I wacked off to Kate Olsen before she turned 18? You must be punishing me for that. Its okay God, punish away, I deserve it all. I'm a filthy sinner waaaaah, I wack off, waaaah... forgiiiive meeeee". You little pussy. Suck it up, shit happens.

This is all we need. People believing invisible shit in the sky will magically help them change them instead of believing in themselves. Pussies. God isn't gonna help you change, you are. I've always been a humanist. I believe in the beauty of humanity. I love people, I may talk alot of shit about them, but thats because we still have alot of weak sperms in the bunch. Regardless, i believe we have alot of potential - but we're never gonna meet it if half the world believes we're worthless sinners who need the salvation of Jesus Christ. If you believe you're a worthless pussy, you are a worthless pussy. So stop praying like a little pussy. Shed that vulva and step into reality. Pussy.