Someone hold me. I just need to be held.

There is a consensus among the blogging elite that personal sentiments and diary-like prose are highly unprofessional. I acknowledge this. Feelings are a common day's occurance and to ink them is to drag the unwelcomed monotony of your life onto a helpless monitor. Yet it is often a practice for those who know the rules to break them. So allow me to share with you some of my feelings.

Sometimes I feel like dancing, but for gosh sakes I don't have any rhythm. This is such a burden for me because so often I feel like translating my inner funk into explosive dances moves - but I just can't seem to ignite. For instance, when I'm feeling rather emotionless and numb I'll want to express that with a quick and snappy robot; but my attempts to capture the jagged rhythm of electronic hydrolics pan out to be too smooth to call me "tin". Okay, so not everybody can capture the intricacy of robotic movement, but I'm helpless even at simple tasks. At baseball games when it comes time to do the wave, everybody makes fun of me because they say I look like a garage door opening and closing. I feel so helpless. Will I ever get to cut a rug with my beloved ladybug?

Okay but on a non-facetious note, I once mentioned how my laziness faces the constant doom of unintentional productivity, which is an attempt to make light of my "i don't give a shit" attitude, especially towards school. Well, apparently that's not normal so I took a battery test last week on account of an intuition that I may have ADD. Funny cuz one of the symptoms of having ADD is excellent intuition. The psychologist called me back with the results and as it turns out, I have a fairly severe case of it. Damn this fly buzzing around.

See it's not like that though. Not all pretty birds distract us. I can be very focused but only on things that are very stimulating. If something doesn't quite interest me I won't even bother. Which explains why I only read the finest of blogs. It also explains my consistant D's in math yet A's in english as well as my tendancy to take extreme risks in an attempt to suck delicious milk from the breast of life. It's not all that bad, just a tad bit on the warm side. This may all sound like a good thing at first, but not when your lifestyle gets you beat up by your ex-roomate's brother and not when the law wants to desperately ram their nightsticks up your ass. But apparently there's alot of good to be had from this disorder. Einstein is speculated to have had ADD. As I mentioned before we have excellent intuition, we're adept at thinking "outside the box" and marked by our deviancy from convention. The form of ADD I have also allows me to form excellent "close personal bonds". Sounds like i'm reading from a fucking horoscope.

Anyways, its somewhat nice to be biologically vindicated from the majority of my past wrong-doings but now that I understand the symptoms, I realize my affliction is somewhat burdensome. I think it may be affecting my ability to dance. And that just pains me.