Wow Yor Hair is so Pwetty Can I Pet It? Ooh, Soft Like A Bunny Wabbit.

I've been jerking off since I was in the womb. Sorry wrong post, let me start over. I'm into my second week of school and I'm actually kind of liking it. Maybe its because I'm only taking 6 units (don't ask), or maybe its because I'm amused so thoroughly when i watch a bunch of Cal State/Life-in-general rejects use big, inappropriate vocabulary words in class to try and mask their underlying sense of incompetance and stupidity. And look, I spelled incompetance wrong, I know it. It just looks wrong. But am I gonna look it up at dictionary.com and fix it, so that I may seem like a good speller so yall don't think I"m a dumbass? No. But those assclowns in my class would. It's incompetence btw. It was bugging me.

There was this Texan dude I had in my socio poly class. He was a stubby, pale, bald, I work at Comp USA but I also smoke cigarettes so the "badboy" cancels out the "loser" type of guy who'd use words like supercilious, unmerited, ad hominem, tantamount, etc., when trying to make a point; and I swear, if you really paid attention, he'd even throw in a smidge of a British accent to really take the fucking psuedo-intellectual cake. Now, is using words like supercillious, unmerited, ad hominem, tantamount, etc., really necessary in casual public speaking? Let me answer that for you. No, its not. I could totally see this assnugget screaming at the TV screen when George Bush is giving a state of the union address like, "Widespread terror?! Is that the best you can do George?! You could have said ubiquitous terror George! Ubiquitous terror! Syllables George, syllables!"

But yeah it feels good to be back at school, it gives me something to do. I guess its a good thing that everybody I knew back in High School was a slacker, because it didn't take them long to drop out of college and find a home at good old Harvard by the beach, er, Santa Monica Community College. But today I experienced one of those awkward moments when seeing a familiar face from afar. And I find these particular moments fuckin hilarious because I'm sure everybody knows exactly what i'm talking about, cuz everybody does the same exact thing.

Ya know, when you're just walking along and off in the distance you see someone you know coming towards you. You're like, aww shit, because now you have to look at everything but them because fuck forbid you acknowledge each other's presence before you're close enough to exchange words. That's just, awkward. So you start looking at the cracks in the ground... hey those are some nice cumulus clouds... what a fat pigeon... And then you look out of the corner of your eye, "Shit, (insert name) is still roughly 15 feet away". More looking around. And you know (insert name) saw you too because they're looking at that tree over there which is obviously nothing fucking special and plus, there's only like 4 other people walking around at this particular time. You're thinking what they're thinking and they're thinking what you're thinking but you're not telepathic. They hit the 5 foot mark and your eyes finally meet. "Heeey Mary nice to see you. Wow, you just snuck up on me!"

Ahah, i love that shit. And ladies, here's what i love about you. You're always the first to look away (at the ground in particular) whenever a guy makes eye contact with you. I swear its like you're trained to look away the moment - the fucking nanosecond, a guy looks at you. I just want a girl to fucking staaare back. I'd crawl up in a ball and deficate myself.