Slightly

When I say I hate people and support terrorism, it's not that I actually hate people and support terrorism. As usual, I'm being sarcastic and hyperbolizing the truth. Truth be told, I only hate people slightly, and the same can be said for my support for terrorism. Nothing like sarcasm to distort my well founded worldly views.

And I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed neither. I'm more of your plastic butterknife among a hodgepodge of ginzu steak-knives and cutleries. Al-Quaeda couldn't hijack a plane with me if Allah was on their side. I spread, margarine preferably, because I'm stupid and dull.

I suck at math. I didn't learn my times tables until the sixth grade, a good 2 years too late. Even then I struggled with my multiplication tables, and it took a good 2 months of studying them, whenever I sat down on the shitter, to finally get them down. I have now forgotten all of them except for the 2's, 5's, and 10's.

I forget almost everything I hear. Tell me something and I will forget it like a bad childhood beating, I promise you. I don't know my mom's birthday, I only know Christmas falls in December, and if little douchebags didn't show up at my doorstep begging for candy every year, I'd probably forget when halloween was too.

I'm bad with details, I hardly read, the majority of all my teachers have hated me, and on occasion I won't wear deodorant. Yet take all my faults, add them up, and- fuckit dude I'm a genius compared to the average human being.

Which is saying far too much. Today at work someone asked for plastic in paper. But that's nothing. Einstein once said, "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."

Take Bush for example. No nevermind, I'm going to sleep.