Omg Did You See Hilary Swanks Dress?! Haha Just Playing I'm Not Gay.

Hello reader. Have I ever told you how much I love you? It doesn't get said enough. I love you. Hey, don't head for that door I didn't mean it like that! Sorry I didn't mean to scare you off by dropping the "L" bomb so irresponsibly, and maybe it would help if i put my cock back in my pants as well. Wait, I'm having some trouble zipping up could you help me? Haha just playing, I was gonna whip my cock out again and slap your hand with it for shits and giggles. But back to what I was saying. I meant love as in a sense of fondness and appreciation for your readership. Sure, sometimes I touch myself to certain readers but this love is mostly platonic. For I am a widowed lady, this blog is the sweater I knit, and you are all my wonderful cats. As you sit on my lap I talk to you and raise my freshly knitted sweater for approval, you meow back, and I feel complete. Bless you my felioned companions. Here's some kibbles n bits.

Which is not to say I'm a loser who looks to blogging to boost my ego which has been shat on by normal norMAL NORMAL FUCKING PEOPLE with EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING!!!. I simply acknowledge the power of words. These here words. These thoughts, these concepts, these feelings, these... these... these symbols which I place on tangible, intangible, perhaps even existential things... its all just so magical. Magical i tell you.

Magical.

Did i tell you how much I love you? I believe I did. Was it a magical moment? It was for me. I felt the magic. I hope you did too. Okay fuck I'm done with all this magical fag talk, I"m gonna check Sex's site for some inspiration.

She's talking about goddamn yogurt. A whole fucking post on yogurt. Damn this lady has style and finesse! Not to mention the fact that imagining her eat yogurt, bananas and muhfuckin' creme to be exact, turns me on immensely. I hope she's using her index finger to consume that delicious culture. If not it doesn't matter, I tossed the spoon out the window in the version playing inside my head right now. But I'll pause that fantasy right there and push play later on tonight when there's some tissue at my disposal.

So its at this point of the post where I acknowledge the fact that I previously equated myself to an lonely grandma with an overabundance of cats, alluded to a late night jerkoff in tribute to Sex eating yogurt with her index finger, and umm... heck I'll throw in the fact that I don't wash my hands after I pee. I don't think I can ever write a believable post about getting pussy, ever, after this one. But I'm feeling the fire this month so yall can suck my hairy nipple. Speaking about pussy, did you know yogurt is supposed to be a good douche?