Beautiful Creatures

As a student I have plenty of objections to my school, as with any institution. They sell more parking permits than they have parking spots, the classes are too big, the students hardly have a voice, the list goes on. I throw up my hands to all of this, there is nothing I can do as an individual and to be quite honest, I don't feel strongly enough about any of these matters to do anything about it. But there is one problem that I am quite bitter about, and willing take to my grave if I must. The toilet paper in the bathrooms really rub me the wrong way. Quite literally.

And its not as if my ass is fragile. It has a decent capacity to stretch, it can resist alot of wear and tear. I've passed honkey donkey turds that had me nervous, as if they were unpassable and would become stuck inside me forever. I've passed turds that felt like they were wrapped up in sandpaper, I'm sure you all have too. It's no secret that at times, the act of defication is an arduous, sweat filled journey, so when it comes time to bring this journey to an end, I'd like the soft embrace of wholesome fiber on my asshole. Not a toilet paper that has chunks of sequoia tree still in it. Is this so much to ask? Fuck you SMC bathrooms, shitting on public toilets is hard enough.

But of course you women have no idea what I'm talking about. Females do not engage in such acts. Women do not shit, never have, never will. They pee only if you'd like them to. And it astounds me really, how you beautiful, beautiful females can eat food just like I do, but skip the entire process that men must burden. It all just dissapears right? The molecules simply break down and fly to the very heavens you came from. Beautiful really. I shan't get into the science of it all, but nature truly takes care of you, my beautiful darlings.