Uum, helloooo.

Apparently my parents want me to become fat and ugly. I was feeling particularly parched so about I go opening the refridgerator door for a bottle of water but to my surprise, there's nothing but soda. I just want a refreshing bottle of water, no thank you on the teeth corroding beverages, what is going on here? Now I've settled for one of my mom's Perriers. French carbonated water. There are two extra variables in that last sentence that I could have easily done without. But oh well, I shook it up and got rid of the carbonation because, wtf is up with that? Please French people, give me water that will make me burp after every sip, God forbid my liquid goes down smoothly. Shave your pits. Goddamn Frenchies, uuuuugh.

Sorry, and I being a stereotyper? A lumper? An ignoranus?

Well, it has been made known to me by a particular person in my class, that I have no tact. I thought I was easily digestable and charming but apparently no. I lack tact. A Middle Eastern man in my ethical philosophy class told me this because I was making fun of Middle Easterns. I don't think I said anything untrue, PERHAPS out of line, I tend to get riled up when speaking in front of people, but everybody ELSE thought it was funny. I said they needed to burn the Qu'ran because Jesus is obviously better than Mohommed, and that they dance funny and need to add more sexual thrusts and curvatures to their movement because they are obviously a stiff, I mean "un-stiff" bunch, and it shows in their fanaticism. The "un-stiff" part just came to me on the spot, it hit hard on the funny meter. Was I so wrong?

Goddamn these people that get offended. My ignorance is my problem, nobody else's! So why do people get offended? Must be the hemmorhoids. I swear, I've never been offended in my life, I don't even know what being "offended" means. Is it an emotion? Does it hurt? "Wow Greg, you should really try to be more sensitive to other people's feelings". Shutup.

I love making fun of other people's cultures. Everybody is so tolerant of other people's ways of going about things. They'll try to get all smart about it. "Well, philosophically speaking morals are relative to each and every culture, blah blah blah" fucking CAN IT! I understand that argument but here's a list of things that will make your culture a happier place. Don't eat dogs, definately don't eat each other, have sex, don't dress your women up in moomoos with hoods that cover their entire face, chill out on Allah, let homosexuals sodomize and marry, don't cut someone's arm off for stealing a loaf of bread, don't chop someone's dick off because they had sex with your neighbor's cow, etc. But people try so hard to be tolerant that they'll tolerate some pretty crazy shit, because after all - cultural relativity Greg, hellooo! It's all relative! Shut the fuck up.