Hello Children.

I'm sick, i feel like human regurgitant, I'm too sick to wack off, you all know what that means. It's time for me to express some anger. Put your hand on my forehead, you feel that heat? That's not a fever, that's anger. Or perhaps my anger exacerbated my fever.

ex·ac·er·bate ( P ) Pronunciation Key
tr.v. ex·ac·er·bat·ed, ex·ac·er·bat·ing, ex·ac·er·bates

To increase the severity, violence, or bitterness of; aggravate: a speech that exacerbated racial tensions; a heavy rainfall that exacerbated the flood problems.

Hmm, so to what humans, to which ideal will I express my anger towards today, because I'm finding it rather difficult to tell the bacterium responsible for my sickness just how much hate their little microscopic bitchasses. Fuckin' lil' germs all trying to multiply on me like this was 6th grade, I hope they get it up the ass from some homosexual amoebas.

Well, since I'm angry, who better to talk about than overly optimistic pansy fucks with a handbag full of idealistic cliches. Perhaps that is a bit narrow, I'll call these people "optimists", technically "idealists", and use the two words interchangeably for now. Yes, I'm a pessimist, I have a natural aversion to the overly optimistic, but I assure you there is a rational reason for this. First of all, I'm not talking about people who merely have a good outlook on life - that would be me. I'm a pessimistic optimist but i'll get to that later. I'm talking about the type of people who say, "follow your dreams and your wildest wishes will come true!". All these people need to sit on their thumbs and giggle.

I understand I'm not like everybody else, but I also understand that words such as "dreams" and "wishes" should never be uttered in the same sentence, nor should they ever be used in a symbolic context unless one is writing poetry, and even then, cliche my friend, cliche. I hate overly symbolic people, but I won't go there because I am a caring, understanding and non-judgemental person. So I'll leave those queers to lisp silly billy sentiments amongst each other while they smear aloe vera over their war-torn assholes in preparation for round two of "Who can Find the Chocolate Dingleberry?"

But I have no problems with homosexuals, so if that was the only reason for my disdain towards symbolic/idealistic people, I'd be a bigot. There's another reason why i hate pansy talk, and this gets a bit theoretical so bear with me. See, I doubt anybody would be spouting off excessive idealism if they didn't live by it, or more specifically, need it. So, who's truly optimistic in this sense, the pessmistic or the idealist? There is the true pessimist, neither a depressive nor a cynic, who does not dwell but simply points, who's unabashed realism is so often confused with negativity, or you have the idealist, who hides amongst gay cliches and anal. Who is happier? Who I say unto you? The pessimist, who can stand his ground in light of life's shortcomings and point them out in almost child-like amusement, or the ignorance-is-bliss optimist who uses his pansy talk as an emotional crutch, who wants to rub tanning oil all over Richard Simmons. Who?

The pessimist wins and ironically enough, is thereby made an optimist in a technical sense for having a better, happier overall outlook. Conversely the psuedo-optimist is as fragile as his own hemmorhoids, and is thereby made a pessimist on account of his heavy reliance on optimism, which he tries to think but cannot feel.

So in short, the only way to be a true, happy individual is to be both a pessmimist and an optimist. One who, all semantics aside, sees both ends of the spectrum and can consequently walk the middle road, or heck, wherever the fuck he chooses. So I guess in all technicality, I'm an optimist, and i don't take it up the Hershey Highway.