Monday, March 28, 2005

Damn lazy ass. You've been sleeping for 15 years and you're still tired?

We were talking about the Schiavo case in ethical philosophy class today. First of all, I don't like to talk *politics but let me say this. If she's not braindead she's wishing she were dead, if she's braindead she's already dead, so what the hell? Shit, if i were a prisoner trapped inside my own body I'd be screaming, "KILL ME ALREADY! And get this goddamn oatmeal tube out of my mouth i fucking hate oatmeal." But moving on. Someone asked how she came to be in such a vegitative state. I was thinking the teacher would say something like hit by a drunk driver, as per the usual comatose tearjerker case. Instead he told us she slipped into cardiac arrest because she was supposedly bulemic. Before I could stop myself, the words flew out of my mouth, "Oh... so then she REALLY wants that feeding tube removed".

Let us all take a moment to reflect on how brilliantly executed that joke was...

I'd say about one or two people laughed at it. The rest of the class groaned out this combination of "ooohhh" and "awwww" to show their dissaproval, then stood up to display with pride the branches that stuck out of each and every one of their assholes. This joke was destiny in the making and my class had the odasity to disapprove of it? Fuck them. Fuck the no-laughers in my class. "No Greg, that joke ranked very low on the sensitivity meter, please try again!" Whatever though, I still think this joke was brilliant and so did my teacher. He was trying very hard to prevent himself from busting up, but he gave me a look of approval, then went on with the obligatory, "Greg a little bit of sensitivity wouldn't hurt".

So since I was in an ethical philosophy class, and since morals are something I value highly and try to live by, I was thinking about the morality of being sensitive to other people's feelings. Before I used to justify my right to overstep the boundaries of social sensitivity by saying that someone else's taking offense is their problem, not mine. I mean let's face it, there are people out there who believe the world is 6000 years old and dinosaur fossils were put here on this planet by Satan to test our faith. If they take offense when I tell them they should jump off a cliff because God will give them wings, then that's their problem not mine. Right? Well, probably not but it sounds good so I win. Case closed.

*I didn't notice that I wrote "politics" until I read myself over real quick. This isn't even a political matter why the hell did i say that! Just goes to show what a pathetic circus this whole matter has been turned into. The only reason I'm talking about it is because of that joke. Once again, let us admire...