Snap into a slim jim.

Summer is coming, I can smell it. I can feel its warm breeze creeping up and tickling the hairs on the back of my neck, like a old guy in an elevator who won't stop fucking breathing on me. But this is good breath, the breath of summer.

Hello summer my name is Greg Olmeda nice to meet you, I've heard alot of good things about your rays. Would you care to tan me up a bit? I'm trying to get in touch with my hispanic roots. Hold on, let me take my watch off first.

So now its time for buffing up. I'm a beach bum but its not like I goto the beach to marvel at where sand meets motherfuckin water. No, I go to count how many attractive females stare at my luscious body while I wear shades and pretend I can't see them looking. But that may not happen this summer because a friend called me skinny the other day. SKINNY! Okay so here's the deal. Back in the day, everybody knew Greg was the dude with the muscles. Greg was that guy who could do pushups with Ricky Lake eating popcorn on his back. Then I went to college and did alot of, well, things that boosted my metabolism. But my weight loss was so gradual that I never noticed I had crossed the line from, "Damn son what you been eatin?" to, "Damn son you need to start eatin". So I drank 30 grams of protein straight to my dome just right now. As soon as I'm done blogging I will do my routine of situps and pushups and then... Oh billy. Oh billy... I will look like a 16th century sculpture but unlike them, my pecker won't be so small.

And yes Sex, if there is a camera present perhaps I'll capture my effervescent glow and you will be the only one to see it.