I don't think i'm qualified

It is hard to convey the laziness that is me through this blog. Sometimes I'll feel an inkling of energy and poop out something productive, but that usually involves dropping $2.50 at my nearest liquor store for a silver and blue can with a picture of a bull on it. I am a Red Bull addict. And unless I want to prostitute my various orafices to maintain this habit, I need to get a job.

So today I went for an interview at Starbucks. We talked for about 10 minutes. It went well but it just felt wrong - me being quizzed by a Starbucks representative and all. ME trying to prove my competance to THEM? That's like being interviewed to be one of those guys who stands on the street corner holding up signs, dressed up as a 6-inch sub or a burrito or something.

"So Pedro... can you stand?"

"Si senior"

"Welcome to Subway my friend"

But this interview was a bit more intensive. They were asking me questions about my previous experiences, about times I made snap decisions in tough spots, situations where I broke convention for the greater good. And I just thought to myself, this is fucking Starbucks. I'm a human and I have workable hands, hire me.

They were asking me all these friggin questions. Maybe I'm mistaken, but I doubt my personal philosophy has anything to do with the flavor of someone's "grande mocha mint cafe latte afagado style warmed precisely to 102 degrees farenheit and please use the lowfat half and half or else the extra fat goes straight to that area right below my eyes and gives me bags. Oh, and hold on I have some pennies I've been meaning to get rid of. May I place my laptop, my palmpilot, my attaché and my GPS navigational system on your counter while in dig into my Gucci purse?"

I'm sucking on Starbucks' corporate nipple in hopes that some milk will come out; which is a metaphore for getting hired. But I'm the shit. If anything I should be interviewing them, to see if they're worthy enough to be graced by my presence. Regardless I hope they call me back. And if not then oh well. I didn't want to work there ANYWAYS. sob..