That's not my forte

HIM: She's so fine, she's like the quintessential woman.
ME: Dude, did you just say quintessential?
HIM: Yeah, sorry I know.
ME: You're not writing an essay, you know that right?
HIM: I know, I know. I just wanted to use that word. I'll leave the big words up to you Greg, they're not my forte.
ME: You're forgiven. It's pronounced "fort" by the way.
HIM: No it's "fort-e"
ME: Do you want me to fucking stab you?

So we asked some people walking by if it were pronounced "fort-e" or "fort". I know for certain it was "fort", but I knew everybody would say it was "fort-e". As I expected, everybody said it was "fort-e". I was content that I looked like an idiot in this specific situation, because deep down I knew I had the correct knowledge, and that made my package pulsate.

I"m gonna go around everywhere using the word "forte" and pronounce it correctly, just to get a kick out of the irony of people correcting me. "Don't you mean fort-e?". I could either lift my head up and give a, "well actually" or I could just smile and be like, "yeah that's it (dumbshit)". Knowing damn well I got the secret knowledge of proper pronunciation. I want to be on a talk show and use the word "forte" properly. The host wouldn't have the balls to "correct" me (cuz he'd think it was fort-e too). Millions of people would think I was a dumbass. I swear I think about this all the time.

I find other people thinking I"m an idiot to be exciting. And I say alot of stupid things too, it's not like I give them any reason to think otherwise. I'm the king of pointing out the obvious, under the pretense that I'm saying something profound. Because I'll sort of have this super cool understanding of something, and I'll pysche myself out and be like, wow, that's super deep. But I don't realize at the time that words wouldn't do what I'm thinking any justice. So I'll be all smug, thinking its my time to shine, yet say something like,

"Yeah well... some people just don't like brocolli"

Before you laugh, fucker, if only you knew everything I could not say...