Tengo Tired.

I'm so excited right now. I checked my e-mail and I just found out I'm eligible for a free Dell PC. Also, TheSportStore@cooperativestudios.net sent me an e-mail notifying me about a potential 500 dollar shopping spree at my nearest Foot Locker. Mariah just sent me an e-mail saying she heard from her friend Stephanie that I was a cutie and wanted to strip for me on her webcam.

I'm not making this up people!

If you haven't figured already, that's fucking sarcasm. I don't understand what these spam mail geniuses are thinking. People kind of have this tendancy to not buy or look into products being sold by people they hate. And last time I checked I wasn't e-mailing these jackasses back saying, "Hey thanks for the heads up. I love Foot Locker".

Horrible strategy. Fuck spam mail.

Speaking about advertising, I went to Fox Hills Mall today to take advantage of these ONE DAY ONLY!!! memorial day sales. I needed a new pair of swimtrunks. Now Fox Hills Mall is one of those malls I used to go to as a child, and I have fond memories of the stores there. There was the Misses Field's cookies and Orange Juliuses, the KB Toy Store and that pet shop with the cute little bunny rabbits in the window. Then the black people came and took the mall over, pushing us white folks north.

So looking around in Macy's for trunks I could not believe they only had two of them in the entire store. Then it hit me - black people don't goto the beach. Macy had their demographic down, and stocked accordingly.

Nobody even know what the fuck I was talking about when I asked where the board shorts were. And I had a frightening conversation with a gay guy at the perfume counter.

"Excuse me sir, where do you carry board shorts?"

"Board shorts?"

"Yeah um, like swimwear"

"Are you looking for the latest bikini tops?" (Cups his man tits with his hands and gives me a "fresh" smile)

Hit on by another homosexual-wishing-I-were-gay. Yeah I know I should be flattered but really the line must be drawn somewhere. I don't take it personally every time a dog decides to hump my leg instead of the next man's. The issue is however, I don't want my leg being humped by non-females, its just that simple.

It's gotta be the tan.