Can you feel my mojo?

So as some of you may know my internet was fucked for a rough total of 1 1/2 days - just long enough to allow me to realize how pathetic I am. I am Whitney Housten and this here internet is Bobby Brown. Co-dependant, if you hadn't caught that already. Possibly a crackhead, if this bullshit keeps up. But most likely I'll leave the torch and the crackpipe alone, cuz I fixed the muhfucker myself and it ain't about to break.

Well I exchanged the modem. Wasn't that hard. Regardless, I fixed the fuck out of this thing.

Say it with me though, a big fuck you to Comcast troubleshooting hotline. I don't care if they're 24/7, the dude on the phone was stuttering at me like my deep brassy voice made him nervous, and at every turn he'd pass the buck to me as if it were MY fault my internet wasn't working.

HIM: Uuum I suggest you run Norton Utilities it sounds like you h-h-have a virus
ME: But my computers are networked and they're both being affected, how would a virus on one computer affect both?
HIM: Well, v-v-viruses have the tendancy to be very potent.
(Potent? We're not talking about my farts here buddy)
ME: Okay I'll run Norton.

So I ran Norton on both my dad's computer and mine. I personally came up with 5 at risk files, my dad came up with SIXTY-FIVE! And I thought I downloaded alot of porn from shady websites. But in case you are wondering, no it doesn't disturb me to think of my dad downloading loads of filthy, slutty, hardcore bucking pornography. We're all adults here. My parents having sex on the other hand. Fuck it hurts just to type.

But they don't do it anymore. Never did, never will. Before you ask - I was bred in a petri dish, duuuh.

I one the other hand, will fuck my wife every night when I"m older, and I don't care if my baby, child, adolescent, young adult, college borne children hear. Fucking is a natural part of life, and I'll be damned if me and my future wife, A.K.A Natalie Portman, act as if we have something to hide. Apes aren't afraid of fucking in the vacinity of their children, and lest we forget out roots....?

But I'll try to keep the whole, "Oh my fucking lord i'm gonna cum all over your titties" to a suitable volume. At least until they're in high school. I'm no psychologist but I figure its best for all. Right?