Oingo Boingo anyone?

I'm such a dumbass, I wore brand new white shoes to a concert on Saturday. I know - there's alot of feet at concerts, I'm not a dumbass. I wanted to go out afterwards so I dressed nice, figuring I'd preserve my freshness by standing with the other inanimate hipsters in the back. Besides it was a free ticket for Taking Back Sunday and Jimmy Eat World - catchy bands but I'm too pretentious to take that music serious enough to get my bounce on.

But the energy just got to me yo. I couldn't help myself. Next thing I know I'm on the bars with my hands up screaming, "JIIIMMY I WANT YOUR BABIES" like a fucking 14 year old. I had the stank of a million bodies soaked into my shirt, the mark of a billion soles stamped onto my shoes, and crowd surfing turds kept landing on my head like their entire M.O was to fuck up my hair. I sweat all the gel out of my hair too so I couldn't fix it back into place. My hair was unfixable. My entire being was unfixable. I was a wreck. A wreck I tell you! Marsha Marsha Marsha!!! Afterwards I stood looking at myself in the mirror and cried, then I started slitting my wrists.

So I called it a night a bit early. No drinky poo for me. I had other peoples sweat on my own goddamn body. That's just repugnant to me. I showered, washed in between my balls and my ass real good, and slept like a baby. It was still a very good night. Just a bit pissed about the shoes. I'll clean them but I know some permanent damage has been done. Marsha...

And talk about feeling like a damn pervert at that show. Taking Back Sunday brought in pounds and pounds of fresh meat, if you know what i mean. That Oingo Boingo song (see Sandy I know wuts up) kept playing in my head, "IIIII love little girls they make me feel so good..." I obviously couldn't tell if they had grass on the field as the saying goes, so my motto just sorta went like, if they have tits, um, look. Don't call me a pervert though, only I can call myself that. And before anyone gets judgmental up in this bitch, I was looking at older women too. I just knew they'd be harder to get into bed.