HI my name is Greg this is my ramble albiet one with a point and highly entertaining as per usual

The porn industry needs me (as a director, not an actor, I'm asian remember?), but they don't know it yet. See, I'm a revolutionary. I have what some would call the midas touch - I turn shit to gold. And I know what you're thinking, you're thinking, "Greg you touch shit?". But if you're gonna bust my fucking balls about it then I guess no shit ornament for you. The porn industry needs me because they are an industry with no vision, infamously rehashing tried and true methods simply because the business is so lucrative in the first place, why risk anything?

What we're stuck with then, is the same old porno, over and over again. The same old:

"Oh no, the pizza man is here yet I have just stepped out of the shower. Let me go answer it in my towel".

"Hi ma'am, I have your pizza".

"Oh no pizza boy, you forgot my sausage".

"No ma'am I didn't forget your sausage. It's right here".

Sometimes pornos get so corny there's chunks of it left in my stool. Am I the only guy left on this planet that demands realism? Or maybe I'm just one of those fucking high-brows. All I know is, everytime I watch a porno I can't help to think, "Damn I could do better". And it tantalizes me to think of what'd it be like to jerk off to my own pornography. Me spanking it to my own realized vision. It would be a beautiful moment followed by an even more beautiful feeling. Followed by a mess.

I'd go on about the various aspects of my pornographic vision, and how I'd create the perfect porno, but I don't feel like it. I'm just trying to figure how to make some damn money. I suck with business and finances, I'm dyslexic when it comes to numbers, I'm slow to comprehend words, I have the attention span of a shit flinging monkey, yet everytime I hear people talk I can't help to think of how stupid everybody is in comparison to me. Okay that came off as being horribly pretentious, I should show some classy humility. Oooh noo look at me I'm so young and have so much to learn, all I know is I know nothing, please someone teach me something, blah blah blah...

Although occasionally I'll pick up a book on astrophysics, just to know what it feels like to be stupid. Then I tell myself it's the astrophysicists that are stupid because they don't know how to make the perfect porno. Then I tell myself I should stop reading on astrophysics because this is probably why I don't have a girlfriend.

Most women don't want a smart guy, they'll act like they do. Yet statistically speaking, guys who have the hardest time finding a girlfriend are either smart or gay. I stole that concept from a quote I read somewhere. It's true though. So in an attempt to flirt I've been trying to get in touch with my idiot side. Like the other day I was talking to this girl, and all the sudden I was like, "Oh my gosh look at that pwetty pigeon. AHAHA HEY PWETTY PIGEUN, AWAHAHA!!". She took me behind the bushes and gave me a blowjob on the spot.