Oh the horror.

Things done/seen in the last two days.

1. Started up my sideproject blog.

2. Saw a bum with his penis dangling out of his pants.

3. Sped past a cop going 60 in a 35 zone. He didn't even bother to turn around and pull me over.

As you can tell my life is very simple and void of excitement - if these are highlights. With the exception of number 2, I suppose? Here let me expand on that one.

I was driving home from school and off on the sidewalk I see a bum doing what looked like football jukes at a tree. I suppose the tree really was trying to tackle him, who am I to assume. Regardless, I'm driving closer to him and he's still juking the tree with these sort of jazz hands waving about in front of him, ya know, trying to distract it. But as I pass parallel to him i notice a skin toned third entity, a long snout looking object, that just so happened to be hanging where his penis should be. Me being the intelligent individual I am deduced that this may actually be his penis hanging out of his pants and gave a quick turn of the head to see if this were true. Then I shouted, "Holy shit that dude's dick is hanging out!"

It was very long and hopefully the cleanest part of his body. Wretched bum those inches are going to waste, give them to me!

"Dude let me have it"

"No man its mine"

"Dude but you're a bum all you do is masturbate"

"So man, its mine and I don't want yours"

"I'll let you keep your testicles"

"What part of no don't you understand? Now go away this tree is trying to tackle me"