Stupid ass crazy motherfuckers!

Romanian priest unrepentant after crucifixion of nun

TANACU, Romania (AFP) - A Romanian Orthodox priest [Father Daniel], is facing charges for ordering the crucifixion of a young nun because she was "possessed by the devil," was unrepentant as he celebrated a funeral ceremony for his alleged victim.

"God has performed a miracle for her, finally Irina is delivered from evil"

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Thank God... My sincerest thanks goes out to Father Daniel and everyone involved for doing their duty and keeping the world safe from the malicious grips of evil. One would think that after the Salem witch trials, humanity would come to realize what has been so vividly laid out before our very eyes. Must I spell it out once again that not only does Satan exist, but he is a ubiquitous, multi-agented entity who takes on material and non-material like forms to imbue and control other people's bodies because God does not permit video game consoles in hell?

I am concerned with the matters of devilry because I myself have experienced an occasional brush with pure, unadulterated evil. Why just last week I awoke to find a considerable portion of my carpet covered in a mysterious wetness, despite my having caught eight hours of undisturbed respite. And now, I am thoroughly convinced that the devil has peed my rug. You think I'm simply joking?

- yo people, that'd be funny if some newcomer thought I wasn't huh? Ahah. Seriously, I wish someone would read the above and take me all serious up until now; which would be the point where their stupidity sinks in and the well-deserved road to suicide begins. That'd be a riot. My point being - dumbasses like this do exist.

(But anyone paying attention would've noticed my use of the word "ubiquitous" up above. People who use words like "ubiquitous" are by default, too fuckin smart to believe in fairy tales of devilry and devilish deeds. And that right there, is alliteration. People who point out alliteration are, by default, too fucking smart to believe in Satanic evilry and demonic possesions. I believe in the existance of deviled eggs and even then, I questioned the reality behind the nomenclature.)

Let it be known, to me the devil is about as factual as the notion of a heterosexual Richard Simmons. Deceived be not. He may have alot of thick man hair but it doesn't camoflauge his gayness. People who believe the devil is trying to fuck over the world plain scare me. And these Pabst Blue Ribbon drinking, can't-tan-for-shit wackjobs populate such a considerable portion of America - heck, it's a possibility that at this very moment, your next door neighbor is dressed in a moomoo and doing some really weird shit with duct tape, a potato cannon and Tabasco sauce.

Even if the devil did exist, don't they know the victors write the books? I'd venture to say Hell is where the real party is at. I'll bring the brew, you bring the potato chips? And let me tell you - between you an me - I hear Satan's quite the sucker for Mexican food. But for now drop that taco. Seriously. Satan is the biggest mooch and he will get all up in you.