The pragmatism of insanity

So I'm taking abnormal psychology for winter break and I think the new seasonal fad should be sporting mental disorders. They say one out of every three Americans has a psychological disorder. That's not good enough. I've dealt with plenty of folk who have perhaps "missed the dartboard entirely", and I must say, keep them coming Genes/Environment. Crazy people are the spice to this bland hunk of meatloaf I call a life. They are the oregano in my Bonduelle Potato Au Gratin, the pesto sauce on my tender veal cutlet. Bam! Delicious.

I'm not talking about anything severe. Just a complete and utter detatchment from reality every now and then. Imagine if you were at a party and some guy started screaming, "Oh my God I can't find my body. Hey, who here watches Star Trek? Oh my God fucking John Denver just stole my beer. Why do I keep hearing the Black Eyed Peas? Someone give me a stick of butter, quick!". And then he gets naked and starts jerkin it to a plant. I could talk to absolutely any girl with that conversational ammunition. You see where I'm coming from?

I think I need more psychological disorders. So far on the checklist is um, ADD. That's about it. And what a pussy disorder at that. I could use some more dillusions. Positive ones. I'm talking along the lines of fat black girl ones. Complete with the "Oh no you di'int!", "I'm the shit" and wavy fingers. Mmhmm. Imagine how interesting I would be, people would love me. At parties I'd be loud and talk about how people "ain't got nuttin' on me" and girls would be drawn towards my cocky indifference.

Positive dellusions - making positive impacts on people's lives. I mean, we spend so much time thinking ourselves and life is so much shittier than it really is, we might as well flip that around and take the upper hand. If only I thought I was better than everybody else, maybe I wouldn't want to sleep all day with the blinds closed because sunlight = happy. Postive dellusions. Now excuse me while I take my clothes off and run out the fire escpape.