Monday, January 09, 2006

shut the fuck up

Here is an example of a legitimate question:

"Greg, why do you hate people?"

The answer is plain and simple - I don't hate people, I just hate things about them. Shame on me if I threw away the entire loaf of bread because one peice of it was moldy. I think I'm willing to accept and overlook certain aspects in people that drive me towards an early menopause because I am a kind, tolerant and loving individual. My eyes glisten with the compassion of Jesus. My hands eminate with the warmth of Mother Theresa. I am a rock. Love. Steadfast love.

But there is one girl in my speech class that I absolutely loathe. Everytime she opens her mouth people start to look at each other, sort of like how beauty pageant queens look at each other before they're about to get their results, except none of us are smiling and we'd all rather hang ourselves. She's one of those types that always jumps into the middle of a conversation to give her opinion, totally disruptive, and she ends everything with, "you know what I'm saying?". And what I've typically found about people who say that is that they don't know what they fuck they are saying.

This girl went completely emo today. We were talking about using euphamisms and abstractions in everyday speech. I was talking about how I personally find it necessary to coat certain harsh topics with sugary terms because while I'm not a sensitive person when it comes to language, other people are and they should be respected. Little Miss Piggy chimes in from the corner like, "Yo yo, nuh uh. You see with me, I'm blunt, I don't beat around the bush like that. I say whatever is on my mind." While we were all looking at each other wishing we had a dirty sock to shove in her grill she finally adds, "Life is too fucking short for that shit, know what I'm saying?"

The bitch dropped the F bomb in speech class while we were talking about appropriate and inappropriate speech. Who the fuck does that? I cuss like a sailor but I know when, this girl is just fucking nuts.

But that's not even the point of my story. The point I was trying to make is that I can't stand people who feel the need to give their opinion on every goddamn subject on the planet. What I've learned over the years is to bite my tongue. Giving an opinion here and there is fine, but eventually if you give too much the Micheal Moore effect will kick in, and all the sudden you're that little squeaky fat man who won't shut the fuck up. So in my opinion, lets all get together and drink a large glass of shut the fuck up.