Eat your meat! How can you eat your puddin if you don't eat your meat!!

I got a haircut today. Yeah baby, like fresh cut grass my head is. So nice, so nice! I didn't goto no barber though. I refuse to render my tress to the buzzors. Buzzors promote an apathetic approach to what should be a craftsmanship. I'm a scissor man all the way, for that natural, textured look. So I goto a stylist. But I was a bit dissapointed when I walked into Freddy and Ilana's today. I have a little boo up in there that I've been coming to for a while. I like her to cut my hair, or should I say, she likes to cut my hair, yeah... She's in her late twenties, a good looking Russian chic. But when I walked in today I took one look at her and knew something was up. Why must all the hotties suddenly go bulemic?

As a young client of hers I tried to keep a strictly professional relationship between us. But this didn't stop me from flirting with her on occasion. Were my innocent passes at her not enough? Did I not make her feel special? Did I not unconsciously stare at her breasts long enough to get caught as she'd dillegently cut my hair? Now there's hardly anything to stare at, because she had go and puke her breast fat down the toilet.

Why... whyyyy? What did the mirror tell her that I couldn't?

It's such a shame too, because all the girls I've ever known that went annorexic/bulemic (which is alot) didn't need to. Instead of doing lots of meth and cocaine and losing weight the natural way, they had to go put a lock on their mouth and swallow the key. And I know that's impossible because once you lock your mouth you can't swallow the key, but the metaphor still rings painfully true. Some women just don't get it. Or girls I should say. "Ooh i needa get breast implants. Oooh look at these stretch marks, they're horrific!". And then they superimpose their sense of disgust with themselves on the male intellect, assuming we share the very same distaste of these so called "imperfections". We don't. Our general disconcern with our looks holds universally true in the sense that, we aren't holding any magnifying glasses to ourselves, and we certainly aren't holding any to women. Distance is a virtue.

If a fat person wants to go and puke their fat away, be my guest. Bulemia/annorexia has been proven to shed the pounds and quick. But its not the fat people who are going bulemic, its the hotties!! You'd think fat people would be the first to be bending over in the stalls and losing that lunch, but I guess they're too ugly to be that vane. So i guess its pretty ironic that its the beauty that allows these girls to be vane enough in the first place to think they're fat or ugly, yet it all makes sense in a twisted sort of way. So if you ask me this whole eating disorder thing is just fucked up and vicious. What's the solution? I dunno, black people?

I know those crazy cats love them thicky thick girls, and I know these hot white chics love the B.B.C. I guess it's on my African American comrades to start the thicky thick revolution, lets get these white bitches eating. And start with my boo so I can feel her boobies brush up against my back again as she cuts my hair.