Hey everybody, just keep dreaming and maybe your wildest wishes will come alive!

So i've been doing some thinking about my complete and utter lack of ambition. Where does it come from? Am I to be blamed for it? Do i make up for it in charm at wit? Well I'm soooorry for being uninspired, lethargic, lazy, apathetic, passive, unassertive, a dallydill, bum-like, indolent, a sofa spud, born with a proclivity to procrastinate, too easily bored, too easily amused, its not like i chose to be all of the above. The only choice I've made is a lack of one thereof, the choice to not become all gung-ho ambitious. Well in that case I"m sooorry my body doesn't crank out methamphetamine for a living. I would need a sizeable amount of ambition to all of the sudden overcome my lack of ambition, so not only am i back to square one but it has a couch and I'm sitting on it with a fucking beer in my hand. Where's my red hot poker in the ass when i need one? Please someone, anyone, just poke me in the ass. Cmon, just a like pokey poke. Will someone please just ram that poker in my ass!?

Yeah, and there's a herd of pansy fucks out there who would get mad at me for justifying my very own laziness. These are the types of people who say shit like, "Reach for the stars and your wildest dreams will come true!" These people need to wrap their tongues up in condoms before they catch AIDS for being so damn GAY. Try spoutin that Tinkerbell mumbo jumbo to little Mungambi Mombatu in Somolia, he just caught malaria off his own mother's breast milk. Sometimes it just ain't in the cards. Hey, but its not like i'm making excuses for myself, or trying to pass the blame. I'm saying don't blame me so much in the first place goddamnit! Fuckit, sympathize with me. Feeel my plight.

I'm lazy. I'd rather watch Suzanne Summers and the toning power of the thighmaster than get up to grab the remote. I don't eat toasted bread unless its toasted for me. The prospects of toast is delicious to me but if it requires bringing out the toaster I'd rather take my bread like Jesus; fucking plain, cuz i'm lazy bitches. As a matter of fact if there ain't nobody to make me food just call me Ghandi cuz i'll be one starving motherfucker. Screw fasting for a cause, I'm just too lazy. I pee on sidewalks I don't look for no bushes. I let the dog walk his own goddamn self. I buy seedless watermelon. I like all the work being done for me.

But anyways, maybe i'll snap out of it. 99% of the population thinks they're lazy but when i say i'm lazy I mean i'm LAZY. But I have myself to blame right? I"ll just follow my dreams!!!