Do you find me offensive?

I'm so damn tired right now. Wow, great opening greg, that ain't cliche at all. It's only the same six words that have come out of every uncomfortable silence thats ever occured, why don't you talk about the weather for chrissakes while you're at it? But really i'm so damn tired right now my eyes are chinked out like two sideways vaginas. I was snowboarding all day long in Big Bear. I fucking conquered that mountain, let me tell you. I might as well have pissed my name in the snow and marked my territory because that shit belongs to me. And then i moved off the bunny slopes. But enough about me.

Black people have really been hitting the slopes lately. Last year we used to do this count, call it racist if you will i call it an observation of cultural behavior, but black people don't like beaches and they certainly don't hit the slopes. So we count how many black people we see. Last year the white/black ratio was about 50/1. Today, to my surprise, the count was getting so high we started taking families as one unit/person. I mean, this isn't just that one black guy who scored some white friends. This isn't Tyrone and Tyler hitting the slopes bro. This is the entire Jones family. Next thing you know, Fubu will have its own line of extreme weather clothing and then, I will die from a brain aneurism as I sit eating cashews.

And howabout them Mexicans? Yep, they're still pulling over on the side of the road at the first signs of snow. Little Pedro throws balls of dirty slush at his brother Tito while Maria clings to her mommy's arm. Mother watches with an obligatory smile and snaps a picture of the heated battle with her disposable Kodak camera. Paco cries because he touched snow and it was cold. Hector is eating pork rinds with limon. Julio is thanking the Virgin Mary for snow and Dad is sitting in the car staring at the top of the mountain, wondering what it'd be like to actually go up there instead of just stopping at the first sings of snow to let the kids sled down 3 foot inclines on top of hefty trashbags, only to go home soon after.

And what about them Asians? Yep, still can't tell them apart. Especially when they're all bundled up on the slopes. An asian dude will ski past you, 5 seconds later the same exact dude skis past you. You think you're starting to lose it. Then you remember, "oh yeah, Asian... duh!" Me so sowwy.

Oh but that's nothing yet. Okay, so hows this for a Twilight Zone episode. So I walk into the burger king right? Every single employee was white... If you live in LA, you'll know the significance of this, and you have just shat out your liver. Oh but you think i'm done? Guess who the customers were. Just guess... Yep, you guessed it - they were mexicans! The mexicans were having their orders taken by white people. Hold on i'm going to vomit up my spleen. Is that not some other dimension shit? I swear, sometimes life just really fucks with you. Then you excrete internal organs.