Nuts and Red Bull

There's not a damn thing to eat in the fridge. Let me rephrase that, there's not a damn thing ready to eat in the fridge. Sure there's eggs and ham and all that shit but that requires preparation. I dunno what to do, i'm starving. I drank a red bull and that kind of curbed the hunger, but eventually its gonna get really bad. And its kind of gloomy outside so i don't feel like taking a drive to Jack in the Crack, plus that's money and I gotta wait in the drive thru. So i'm eating nuts right now, heavily salted cashews to be exact. Although It wouldn't be very prudent to make a whole meal out of nuts. They're kind of fattening, despite being healthy. And I don't know if they'll provide me with all the essential vitamins necessary to get me through my day. I need a well balanced meal as dictated by the pyramid with all those pictures of food on it. But who says I need a meal in the conventional sense? Fuckit, nuts and Red Bull for breakfast it is. Besides I'm already kind of full off these little fuckers anyways.

So everybody has been telling me how good my skin looks lately. Okay maybe not everybody, but first it was my cousins on thanksgiving, and then it was this girl at the bowling alley last night. I was outside and i sparked up some small talk with her. She was like, "my gosh you have really nice skin, the ladies must like you" and made the indication that she was talking about my face. I stroked my chin as if I had peach fuzz there (I can't really grow facial hair) and told her, "why thank you". Okay she wasn't a "girl" she was like in her 60's and she was smoking a cigarette like a hag bag. But I appreciated the sentiment and the fact that I apparently have nice skin still holds true. Or maybe she was just saying I have nice skin because I have nothing else going for me, but that's impossible. I've had plenty of rust coated 60 year olds tell me i'm handsome or give me a pleasant smile in diners. My past may not be filled with nights of hedonistic debauchery and tag teaming hoes but when it comes down to it, old people think i'm hot, gay people think I'm hot, shit even my cell mates thought i was hot. Okay that's an inside joke. But laugh anyways.

Okay I'm off the subject, it sounds like I dont' know whether to be self-deprecating or conceited. FYI I am neither. I just let reality and "what is" impose itself on me, rather than imposing myself on reality. When people do the latter, that's when you get fat bitches staring in the mirror willing themselves to think they're hot shit. The truth is, fat bitches can never, ever, ever, be hot shit. This isn't the 1600's, junk in the trunk and meat on the seat doesn't get the blood flowing to my bejoogles. But i don't look down on fat people, its not like anybody wills themselves to be fat. That's like saying someone willed themself to be gay, nobody enjoys being in that position. So what's the solution for people with an weight problem? Crack cocaine, cocaine, crystal methamphetamine, bullemia, anorexia hmm what else. Oh yeah, eat better meals and exercise.