If i weren't blogging i'd probably be playing with myself

You don't realize how relieved I was when i looked at my syllabus today and discovered I didn't have to worry about my English final and final paper until next week. You don't realize how fucking pissed off I was when i realized my syllabus was wrong, and i forgot my teacher had told us it was wrong, and that my English final and 15 pager is due tomorrow. So I'm trying to figure out whether or not I can salvage the vestiges of my grade, or if i should just say fuckit and roll with the tide. Usually, I say fuckit because paddling around in creek full of shit aptly titled "shit's creek" is both smelly and fatiguing. I'd rather be without a paddle so I could just go wherever it takes me, cuz i'm a free spirit like that..... Okay i'm just a lazy fuck.

Ya see, this is the way my procrastination goes. First, I procrastinate a whole shitload because when i tell myself I'll do it later, I truly believe I'll do it later. Either that or i'll tell myself "oh i work better when i'm under pressure" and I'll actually buy that load of crap as well. Then I get to that point where I've procrastinate so much, the task i face seems too far too insurmountable to mount at the time being, so I tell myself "okay let me sleep, i'll wake up early morning where my mind is refreshed, slam a red bull and do whatever i need to do quicker that I can trim my pubes". So i set my alarm clock for early morning the next day. Early morning next day comes, my alarm clock goes off, I awake and think to myself, "who the fuck am i fooling?" and quickly go back to bed so i can sleep off the realization that I just fucked myself in the goat ass.

The irony is I'm procrastinating right now. I should be writing that paper. Ya wanna know what my justification was? I told myself that blogging would help my writing "flow better". Yeah fucking right I just don't wanna do my work. It's funny how whenever a part of us feels like lying to ourself, there's always that other half of us just waiting to buy the lie. And I mean really fucking buy it. Well, I guess its less about "buying" it and more about thinking, "hmm that sounds damn good so i guess its true!" Mmmm yeah i love my lies. They make me feel so cozy and right all the time. Anyways i really gotta fucking get back to this paper. Or maybe I should just goto sleep. Fuckit i'll do this paper tomorrow, BUT I MEAN IT!