No soup for me

Awww shiet I feel so bad right now. I forgot my dad's birthday. I'm such a horrible son. I don't deserve a father.

If I had to raise some turd for 19 years, only to have him neglect my existance by forgetting my one and only birthday, I'd beat him into submission with a wooden plank that has rusty nail sticking out or some shit. I'd slap his face off, then I'd make him drink his own urine. Then i'd chain him up to a tree and smear milk and honey all over his body so a large variety of airborn creatures could eat, sleep, fuck and be merry all over his worthless body. That's how furious I would be. I mean, he might as well forget i even exist. It's only the goddamn day I was born onto this planet - the resulting effect being his own goddamn inception. And that little inception forgot my birthday? Awww hell nah... once again I'd get some good leverage and mollywhomp a rusty nail right through his temple.

I hope he understands though. Besides he's a guy, guys don't really trip about the whole birthday remembering thing. If I'd forgotten my mom's birthday, we'd be living off KFC and Jumbo Jacks for the rest of our days. But he has to still be bummed. I'd be. Its kind of a given, our birthday is that one day we look forward to where we can be finally be the main focus, the center of attention without really doing anything to deserve it. And damn, talk about killing off that expectation. Someone stick my balls in a vice, please. I don't deserve such an integral part of my penis anymore. Just strip me of my manhood and call me Susy. Horrible son... horrible.