Once again, i'm not gay.

Conformity. What an controversial word. Let's look it up shall we?

con·form·i·ty Audio pronunciation of "conformity" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (kn-fôrm-t)
n. pl. con·form·i·ties

1. Similarity in form or character; agreement: I acted in conformity with my principles.
2. Action or behavior in correspondence with socially accepted standards, conventions, rules, or laws: conformity to university regulations.

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Hmm, what do I think about this lovely concept? Well, if i were a crater-faced 16 year old, my ensuing blog entry would probably read like this: fuck conformity! conformists are sheep. they have huge gaping assholes from someone constantly shoving their hand up their butt, because they're nothing but a bunch of puppets! everybody wants to be like someone else, but when you want to be like someone else, that just means you don't want to be like you!

Wisdom.... almost

But peep this, I'm an angst-free 19 year old so let me say this. There ain't a damn thing wrong with conforming, just know when you're doing it at least. Then and only then may the conformist be absolved of being a meat-puppet with an extremity shoved up their bum. It's the whole, once you know the rules you can break them sort of thing. So you can be cliche, as long as you apologize for it. Where the hell am I going with all this?

Well, I don't want to apply Neosporin to my over-stretched asshole in the near future, so i must apologize for something right now. I'm sorry, I'm so very very sorry, but I joined the herd. I watched Desperate Housewives, and I found it delightful.

Okay let me explain, because I must reiterate the fact that i'm not gay. I took a snowboarding trip up to Mammoth on a rather short notice. So short, I didn't get to post any goodbye(but shpanks for "missing" me sex, I still lust you). I was chillin in the cabin watching TV, I had no remote control, the girls wanted to watch Desperate Housewives, what am I to do? I could of course have been like, "yo fuck that you dumb bitches, we're watching SPIKE tv and i'm gonna eat this motherfucking steak right here" but nah. I kind of wanted to watch it. Eeeverybody is doing it! So I watched it. I liked it. I probably won't ever watch it again, but it was good.

There, I'm glad I got that off my chest. Moving on.

Cats are underrated. Once again, i'm not gay. You don't have to walk them, they just eat and sleep and if they're sluts they fuck alot. Total stoners they are. But they get no love from the populous. If you're a woman and you get a cat, all of the sudden you're "lonely". Go ahead and toss that wedding ring into the pacific ocean honey, you'll be masturbating with your left and scooping Ben and Jerry's with your right in no time. And if you're a guy and get a cat - get the fuck out of here. You might as well dress the feline up a cutesy sweater that reads "I'm not gay but my owner is" while you're at it. There's too many stigma's attatched to cat ownership. It's just plain wrong, wrong I tell you.

Cats are so underrated.

Case and point, lets say someone named George gets a new dog and he's telling his friend named Bob. George is like, "Hey Bob, I got a new dog". Bob is like "Oh really, what kind?". George is like, "He's a Seberian Husky, purebread". Bob is like, "awesome man, really cool. Totally cool". But nobody asks "what kind?" if they hear someone got a new cat. You never hear,

George: "Hey Bob, I got a new cat"
Bob: "Oh really? What kind?"
George: "Um, he's a cat"
Bob: "Yeah that's wonderful George. But what kind of cat is he?"
George: "He's a cat Bob, what are you trying to get at?"
Bob: "Well they have different breeds of cats George. Cats come in many different breed and variety's"
George: "Jesus christ Bob, since when did this turn into 20 questions? I wanted a cat I got a cat. He has beige fur, tan if you prefer that nomenclature. He has olive eyes and a white patch on his tail. Oh wait! I remember what he is now. The lady behind the desk told me that he's Abraham fucking Lincoln re-incarnated, is that what you wanted to hear Bob?"
Bob: "Geez George no need to get so offensive"
George: "Then don't ask such stupid questions. What kind? Ooh what kind of cat is that? It's a fucking cat jackass"

Don't forget to have your pets spade or neutered, thanks.