Ethnic spices

Santa Cruz was a nice little town, but nobody was joking when they said UCSC is a hippie's headquarters. Now, I like peace, nature, individuality and vivid colors just as much as the next man, but I can't say I'm down with that whole hippie scene - as "liberal" minded as I may seem. I'm not big on wearing clothing made out of hemp and I actually enjoy taking showers and keeping my shit fresh. So when I'm able to point out at least 4 different dudes with dreadlocks down to their ass within a very small proximity, I can't help to think maybe I won't fit in, and maybe UCSC isn't the school for me.

But Santa Barbera...

Now that's a fucking school for me. I usually don't regret anything, because I like to learn from my mistakes rather than grieve over the fact that I made them, but I did indeed feel some regret when I walked around Del Playa street in Santa Barbera. I regretted not going there when I could have easily gotten in if I actually applied myself in high school. But the girls, the girls... The girls... Oh give me some lotion and a tissue, the girls...

They were all so hot. Riding around on their bicycles in their spandexy tops (I love spandexy tops) and pajama pants, looking like they just got out of bed. I'll take them right back to bed those beautiful, beautiful women. And let me tell ya something about the guys there. They're all tools. They are your typical white boy/surfer dude schmuck. And that gets old quick. So basically I belong at SB, because I know these women are seeking some ethnic flavors and spices, and here I am. Beans and Rice to save the day. Get the fuck away from that steak, have some beans and rice instead. Steak is good, but there's a reason people eat it with A1 sauce. I taste delicious plain, and I mix well with other foods. Baby.

Speaking about my rice and beans, what would any vacation of mine be without getting hit on by a hooker? This time it was a transvestite hooker. I was walking downstairs at the motel 6, and he/she/it was walking up. I was a bit stoned and mentally slow at the time, so I think I staaared, quite unpolitely, at the figure walking towards me, trying to make sense of what my eyes were seeing. It was sporting gigantic hoop earings and hairy arms, that's all I can remember. I think this stare was interpreted the wrong way however, because as it walked by me it said in a deep voice, "I'll be in 205".

I kid you not.