Starflyer

Today I went to the beach and read a book. Not something I'm usually prone to do but I've been feeling a bit... free spirited as of late. And reading books on the beach is fucking wild. So I sat there reading my piece of non-fiction and proceeded to have my mind somewhat blown. And it was nice. I read about the universe and the issues with infinity, the problems of correlating math to natural existance, Zeno's paradox*, among many other things.

I wanted to tell someone about the things I was learning. These things that most people wouldn't necessarily think about or hear about in everyday life, but would be fascinated with nonetheless. About the history of Einstein, his simple blunders despite his legendary brilliance, Cantor and his obsession with figuring out infinity, how some infinities are bigger than others, how Newton may have been a closet homo; but who the hell wants to hear it? Although the thought of an apple chomping homo is of natural interest, there's a time and a place for that sort of talk.

I'm not playing the victim here though. As if I were lonely. I'm a sex magnet, ya see.

But I do sometimes feel isolated. Isolated by my own ideas. Everybody feels this isolation in some form or another. We see the world a certain way and we just can't convey it to those who adamantly oppose us, or fail to put it in words moving enough to shift the tides of emotion, and likewise whatever thoughts are glued down by such overstrung convictions. It is entirely disconcerting to know that, despite our seeing certain things with undeniable clarity, others won't understand, won't want to understand, or can't. That is isolation.

It makes me think of times when I'll have a revelation, one that is profound. Something that was never known to me before that is suddenly made known, and it trickles it's way into my viewing of the world, and stays with me for days to come. I'll dwell on it until I've wrung the idea for all it has to offer, until the oxygen is gone and the fire goes out, and suddenly it is no longer profound. It's emotional impact is lost as it becomes accepted; a stepping stone to higher knowledge. It has integrated itself into my web of beliefs so seamlessly that I merely accept it as one of the things I now know to be true. What was once profound is now common sense. Imagine that. Imagine that...

I wonder what Einstein felt like when Special Relativity became his common sense idea. Isolation, probably. Sure he had his colleagues, but what I guess I'm getting at is... for chrissakes, find someone to share your world with. This message brought to you by It's 4:08 in the Morning and I"m Calling it a Goddamn Night.

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* (Zeno's paradox went as follows: Just as there is an infinite amount of decimals between two numbers, there is an infinite amount of points between two spaces, even if only the width of a hair - infinately large works in reverse as well - so then, as we walk we are actually crossing an infinite number of points, so we must be moving infinitely fast. How is it that we're not, yet moving nonetheless? The answer probably lies in the fact that matter equates to nondivisble quantum particles in its most minute form, so in particles, infinity does not exist. Interesting paradox nonetheless)