I am, Batman

Not too long ago I joined Myspace. Yeah, I sold my soul to the devil but everybody else was doing it. At first I didn't post a photo of myself because I thought that was a loserish thing to do. I posted my New Kids On the Block (hollah) album cover and added all my friends that were patiently waiting for my arrival. And so things went. For about a week. Then I started questioning why I was holding back on a photo. People on myspace who hold back their own photos are either ugly or artsy pansy fucks, and I am neither. So alas up a photo went.

But my face is like a diamond, it shimmers from all angles, and just one photo wouldn't do this multifaceted mug any justice. So i upped two more photos so people would get a nice representation of my "essence". Next thing I know, I'm rummaging through my parent's fucking photo collection, looking for the hottest picture of myself I could possibly find. I didn't find anything that met the standards I set, but do you see what happens when you sell your soul to the devil? The will doesn't break, its chisled away.

And I was thinking, its kind of funny how quickly people own up thier good photos but disown the bad ones. Whenever someone sees a good photo of themselves, even if they look better than they actually do, they're like, "Wow that is so me. Dude that is, that is like the fucking ESSENCE of me. If I were blind and that entire photo were in braille, I would know thats my face just because it would feel so very beautiful." Then a bad photo comes along and it was a "fluke". "Dude who the fuck is that? That's not me. What's up with your camera man it looks liked I dipped my face in bacon grease and suddenly caught a lazy eye."

Needless to say, I didn't find that picture of me in which I looked like George Clooney. George Clooney, now there's a handsome chap.

George Clooney played the first Batman with nipples on his suit. But I wonder, does Batman's nipples really need the extra room? I can't imagine a situation in which Batman's nipples would get so stiff as to cause him extreme discomfort because they ran out of fucking room. Take my nipples for example. My nipples just go with the flow, they're not very demanding as far as spacial requirements go. But I don't know, this is me, and that is Batman. All I know is, I feel sorry for him when he gets an erection. Now THAT requires some muhfuckin room, if he's anything like me... Ya dig?